Go Fork Yourself.

"Oh, look! Fat guy on a health kick."

That's what I think they're saying; that's what the look on their faces says to me.

Who's "they", you ask? The over-prepared, self-righteous make-up wearing divas that strut the Organic produce aisle in their designer boots; the very ones at my preferred market-style, vegan-friendly grocery store who are, coincidentally, annoying. They are self-indulgent, judgmental and over-dressed. I mean, really, who needs to spend more time getting ready to go than they actually spend shopping?

Naturally, I garner some looks from those types with my grey, cotton urban-camo hoodie and matching-shade grey track pants, a grey Fruit-of-the-Loom t-shirt and beige Timberlands. I certainly don't look white-collar, but then again I am not there to do anything but get my goods and go. 

Maybe it's just odd to see a six foot tall, 285-lb biker-like ogre picking through the organic sweet potatoes and searching for the nicest organic lemons, among other things.

Perhaps when I am down to 210 and rocking the shiny Adidas sweat suit I'll fit in a little better. Insert eye roll here.

The funny part about the "health nerds" in the "good section" of the market is that you really can't even begin to guess who is truly healthy, from the outside looking in. I recently watched another documentary, by the fine folks that did Forks over Knives called The Engine 2 Diet, which featured a number of real-life participants who went through a life changing re-education about whole and healthy foods, led by diet creator Rip Esselstyn.

Enter rich insurance broker and family. The stereotypical All-American couple. Good looking, thin, well-dressed couple, big house, great backyard, gorgeous kitchen... the neighbors you want to know; the people you want to be. The wife, a vegetarian of 19 years, was even surprised at the changes led by Rip, and the kids were, allegedly, happy with the results of the dietary recommendations that spanned from wholesome panini sandwiches to fresh vegetable pizza to dairy-free ice-cream concocted of simply near-frozen banana.

Chances are I'd have exchanged scowls with Mrs. Vegetarian at the grocery store, in my aisle, in a momentary showdown just before we raced each other to grab the last bunch of organic kale. Chances are we'd have completely misjudged each other: I'd have considered her presumptuous, and she'd have expected I knew nothing of what I was perusing. Both of us expecting the other was in the wrong place.

Ironically, we should both be there, among other people, and quite feasibly that is the only aisle we should be shopping in. After all, why do we ever need to shop in any other aisle, especially the ones that contain boxed, canned or bagged foods?

It occurred to me while shopping the other day just how colorful, and tempting and tantalizing, and misleading and disgusting the other 90% of the store was, as I walked through Any_Typical_Big_Chain_Grocer_Name_Here the other day to take advantage of their sales on organic apples and pears. I asked myself,"What on Earth happened that we are completely and utterly dependent upon processed foods? And why haven't we caught on as a whole society yet?"

Is convenience really that convenient?

I am taken back to my childhood and reading the Laura Ingalls-Wilder Little House On The Prairie series of books where her future husband, Almanzo Wilder, was describing the excitement of life on his family farm where treats included having maple syrup poured on snow to create an instant hard-candy. Even better, the mention of having a hot potato kept in his pocket that he would eat once it cooled. What about the talk of the fresh pies, and preserves, and winter stores kept to make it through the tough, long, cold winters of off-season farming?

Nowadays, if we want something we just go buy it and unwrap it.

I am all for human progress and technological advances, but what happened to our ability to be self-sufficient, sustaining, creative, independent, productive and capable of feeding ourselves without commercial dependency?

And more importantly, what happened to our knowledge of how to be the aforementioned individuals? Is that in itself another example of the breakdown of the basic fundamental family unit? Surely we are more responsible than that!

I consider myself of above-average intelligence. I would also describe myself as a "fairly good" cook who is "capable" in the kitchen. I thought that surely the transition to vegan, at a dietary level, would be simply a matter of swapping ingredients out. Trade offs. Substitutions. I was pretty well wrong.

I have had to relearn the basics, like a new language. Cooking temperatures and times, textures and blending, seasoning and spicing, it's all new. Results are not what I'd like, but I've certainly developed some fantastic products which I expect to patent, such as super concrete, mega bricks and something I call Revenge cookies which are only to be served to people you truly, truly dislike. For good reason.

One of my first creations was a "replica" (and by "replica" I mean something that looks, tastes and smells nothing like the original intended product) of Vegan Dad's home-made sausage. Let's just say I think I found a secret recipe for space-grade bolts that NASA should consider for future interplanetary station construction.

On the other hand, I have also concocted some excellent soups, a consumable pseudo-burger based on a brown-rice-and-chickpea burger recipe, a lasagna based on the Engine2 Diet veggie lasagna recipe, and a handful of other snacks, entrees and other meals.

Naturally, the better the ingredients, the better the meal, thus I find myself in the organic sections of the big chain stores more often, and anticipating the interaction with a local farm once CSA and co-op farming slots open up in the season changes. In the mean time, I use the best produce I can find.

The toughest part about finding the good produce is knowing what that truly is and means. Before that part, you need to know what the difference is. If you asked me a year ago to purchase ALL organics, I'd have laughed. 

"It all comes from the same place," I'd tell you, continuing my theory with," they're just re-branding to get you to pay more."

I am sure that in some cases, I was right. Then again, if the organic stuff is legit, you can taste, touch, see, smell and yes, even hear the difference. But to know the difference you have to be willing to try, and trust is tough to earn in a poor economy. Who wants to "try" a $9 bag of oranges, when you can pick up the same thing in a $5 bag. Surely I can't be the first person to have been so suspicious and I definitely won't be the last.

We simply don't know what we're talking about any more. If we did, we'd change our ways. Until then, though, we just follow the herd through the field of boxed items, past the check outs to our cars and back to our kitchens. Thankfully, I've broke ranks.

So far, I am just a few days shy of completing Month One of my lifestyle change.

I can see the difference in how my clothes fit. Others have commented on my weightloss, mainly in my face and neck (probably because I'm dressed almost all the time). I have only weighed myself once. I have never quantified results on this blog, as promised at the beginning simply because this is my journey, not anyone else's, and everyone will have their own results.

That said, I encourage everyone in my life to begin the same change. Although I've generally been amicably teased and mocked, I am patient. I understand every person must experience their own "pop", or their own "Aha!" moment. Sometimes it takes some coaching. Mine did. Had I not watched Vegucated or Hungry for Change I might still be where I was six months ago.

Now, instead of preaching I simply refer friends to documentaries I've seen. The most recent, and most likely the easiest to digest first run through (no pun intended) is Forks Over Knives. Unlike documentaries I've seen prior, it doesn't blatantly hammer anti-meat and anti-dairy visuals and instead eases you through it in the same way they recommend you transition: Add more of the good, and the bad will phase out naturally as you crave it less. The message is simple: Replace junk foods and carnivore-centric items with plant-based items. 

Chopsticks aside, if you can put down your knife and consume most of your meal with a fork it's probably ideal. Some exceptions apply.

But don't take my word for it, Fork yourself here. 

In the mean time, I'm headed back to the grocers for more organics carrots to juice and hopefully to grab one more bunch of kale before it's all gone. Perhaps if I see Mrs. Vegetarian, I'll get her opinion on the wheatgrass, but I'll be sure to put my old band back on my ring finger so she doesn't think I'm flirting.

With tine regards,
FatGuy


 

That Voice

That Voice. You know the one. Not the television show featuring musically inclined performers who sing (really well) live, contrary to the panel judging them; no, that's The Voice. I'm referring to That Voice... The one in your head. The one that learned to speak English, or whatever your native tongue is, the same time you did and has been talking crap to you ever since.

Like Jiminy Cricket's dysfunctional, estranged step-uncle with the family-incited restraining order placed on him that isn't allowed at family functions that involved alcohol for fear of results. The evil, negative natty, overbearing, consolation prize announcing naysayer that always talks you out of being Great. That Voice.

S/he is always there, hovering over your shoulder. Watching. Criticizing. Mocking you and uttering words of sympathetic defeat like an insatiably unsatisfiable disapproving mother-in-law who, no matter what, "only wants the best" for you.

"It's ok to give up. You can always come back and try tomorrow. You're really not a failure, you're just tired cause you had a long day. You should pack it in for now. Or maybe change sports. You were always good at Checkers."

If there's such thing as Murphy's Law, then That Voice is in Murphy's immediate family of pessimistic, passive-aggressive life changers.

I've started to think that I've gone crazy, now that I'm talking back to That Voice. So far, I've managed not to think aloud. Or at least, I don't think I have.

It makes me wonder when That Voice ever kicked in during human progress. How many times did the inventor of the Wheel give up?

"It's really not looking very round. Maybe it's just not meant to be. This is probably a futile invention anyhow. Who the heck is going to use this thing? You know how weird people get about new things."

And if ever there was a calorie to be consumed unnecessarily, That Voice was always the poorly timed voice of reason (and bad judgement) that picks the perfect time to point out the fresh, out-of-the-oven pastries in the far end of the market that you don't need but, "gosh I bet they'd go really good with a hot cup of coffee when you get home from this incredibly torturous day of work."

"Go ahead. You deserve it. You can always work twice as hard at the gym tomorrow!"

Sometimes, I think That Voice is the channeled medium of the world's greatest politician.

The toughest part about this Life change has been shutting That Voice up, or at least putting them on Mute and getting through some of the hardest workouts and dietary changes I've endured. It's an inner battle, indeed. Now on the flip side, That Voice has its moments of glory too.

"Don't forget, you were supposed to pay the electric bill today. Oh, and you're out of bread."

So, you can't silence That Voice, or sever the vocal chords, yet you can't succumb to the resilience of the postulated, pessimistic provoking, so what's a person to do? Barter? Banter? Bribe? Or just bicker?

My new theory is to handle That Voice with a skillful strategy of two rules:

First, employ Irish negotiation tactics. Answer or respond to every statement or question with a question. You can even fake the accent for good measure.

"It's ok to give up. You already ran two of the five cycles. At least you showed up at the gym. You're checked in on Facebook. You can always come back and try tomorrow. You don't want to push yourself too far and get injured right?", That Voice asks.

"Why will tomorrow be different?" I ask back.

Stumped. That time, at least. Not every time. Sometimes That Voice is quick-witted and convincing.

The second, and possibly more important rule: Always wear a bluetooth or other headset. That way, if you do start to talk back to That Voice, no one will truly think you're crazy, just geeky.

And if all of the above fails, I'm thinking brute force and raw ignorance: Press on. Eventually, That Voice has to get tired of talking to someone stubborn. Ok, maybe not. You're right. It was worth the try.

Vocally yours,
Fat Guy

Appsolutely Vital.

Four years ago, I was roughly 330 lbs. I was living in a small, one-bedroom condo in Toronto, Ontario. It was nice. I had a loving, faithful wife. She was nice. I had a new compact, fuel efficient commuter car. It was nice. I had a mid-management job in a fancy office building where I managed a team of people. It was nice.

I was nice. Yet, I was also miserable. 

Ten months earlier I worked for a Florida-based company and in just 25 minutes, I could be on Clearwater Beach to share a bucket of fresh crabs and watch the sun set with some of the greatest friends I've ever made, by my side. That was nice. Yet, I was miserable.

I spent six and a half years traveling back and forth to Tampa, FL on business. I never golfed. I never went tanning. I didn't rollerblade, or bicycle, or even go for walks. I spent most of my time either working or at home in the air conditioning. The times I had a rental place with a pool, I enjoyed the solitude and privacy of my backyard. That was nice. I was miserable.

The simple fact is, I don't think I've ever been truly happy in my adult life. It's not that I don't like who I am. I'm very content. I'm unhappy with what I am.

Just over fifteen years ago I was a pack-a-day smoker. I drank soda by the half-gallon. I ate what I wanted, when I wanted. I was in relatively decent shape because I had a physical job. I literally walked miles a night, and got fairly lean but I would never claim I was "fit". Within a short year or two that changed. I earned a promotion, got a desk job, and never thought twice about a change in diet. Life was all about convenience foods. I left "the healthiest shape" of my life far behind and went on a spiraling decent.

I try to remind myself of that now: I didn't gain the weight over night, so I certainly won't lose it over night.

Had I told myself fifteen years ago that some day I would regret that lifestyle, and told myself that a healthy future meant green juice, jogging and a non-meat/non-dairy lifestyle, I'd have laughed myself into a straight-jacket. Ironically, the insanity part wasn't the idea of healthly lifestyle, it should have been the idea of ignoring my own health. Some where between 22 and 35 I lost myself in a world of high calorie, heavily processed, nutrient absent foods and it showed in every aspect of my world: physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. 

Watching Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead identified that for me when they introduced the character Phil Staples, the 429-lb truck driver. I'd never seen him before, but I knew him. I recognized the place he was living in, proverbially. There's not much lighting there.

See, when you watch a movie and there's a little fat kid in it, he's always the slow, chunky one eating the junk food and trying to figure out what all his friends are running from. Same for the overweight girl in the movies; she's never the one that can expect the limo to roll up with Richard Gere hanging out the sunroof, calling out for Lady Vivian. There's something about being fat that is universally recognized as lazy, sloth-like, undesirable, goofy and in some cases, even mentally slower than everyone else. Like a permanent life-state of being picked last for the baseball team. Constantly.

Apparently, you can even chalk your lack of career success up to your lack of physical health now too. As if having to look at your swollen belly in the mirror every time you get out of the shower isn't bad enough, you have to be discriminated against financially by your boss too.

The hard part is fixing it. You can't just go in and have it all removed. It's not like the crappy little apartment where you can just put in your notice and do the midnight move. It's not the lousy job with the jerk boss you can simply walk out on. It's not the junker jalopy you can park under a bridge in the old rundown part of the downtown area and set fire to it, then bribe two old homeless guys with a bottle of Old Crow whiskey to say someone matching your ex-wife's description was running away from the area. No, being fat and unhealthy is like none of those things.It's more like scaling Mount Everest in a tank-top, speedo and flip flops during the Off-season. You could try, but you'll be lucky if it doesn't kill you, or at least turn you back defeated without the proper preparation and training. To train and prepare you need the right tools and the right support.

Todd Lange tweeted to me today. That made me happy. He was asking me for my email, because apparently I get a bonus app from him for 10k101 because I've mentioned him in posts and my YouTube videos. I'm deeply grateful, but more importantly I'm happy. Not for the freebie (Love that though, Todd!), but because of what I can do now that I have never been able to do before. I'm going on my forth week of jogging training, and nothing says "Yes We Can" like completing a segment of the 5k101 program, that Todd developed.

Todd Lange saved a life. His app (and free podcasts) has helped me learn how to do the impossible. Four weeks from now, provided I am not delayed by illness or injury, I should be able to run five kilometers uninterrupted  That is something I've never been able to say, never mind actually do. That makes me happy.

In the present moment of my life I have a mediocre middle-management job. I have an aging car. I'm in the middle of a long, drawn out divorce. I'm not where I want to be, doing what I want to be, making what I want to be or being what I want to be, but, I'm happy; I'm happy because I now see what I can do when I put my mind to it, prepare and move towards a goal that's not about chasing a dream. 

In the coming years, I'll be running 5k and maybe even 10k races. I'll be enrolled in an MBA program. I'll be a homeowner again. I'll be self-aware. I'll be a better man.

I'll get there soon.

Finally, I am not running from something; I'm running towards something. And that is absolutely fantastic. But, I'm happy. And that is absolutely the most important thing in life.

With any luck, this life change to a healthy new beginning means I'll live longer to enjoy it too!

With appreciation,
FatGuy

All Roads Lead to Roam...

The mid-month mark has passed since I began a full-fledged run towards Green-er pastures, and started my trek into the land of Vegans. It's been a roller coaster of physical, mental and emotional highs and lows. Lack of understanding and lack of preparation certainly contributed. I think the odds were stacked against me due to my prior perception as to what exactly being vegetarian actually meant, and more-so what being vegan really stood for.

At this point, I am vegetarian while observing an almost-exclusively vegan diet. I say "almost" because there are certain suspiciously non-vegan products which I have not yet eliminated from my daily intake primarily because they were purchased, already open and needing consumption from prior to my dietary change. Products such as Skippy or Jif brand peanut butter, for example. My first step has basically to begin to purchase vegan-only products for future consumption. This causes the same shift to happen in your purchasing that will eventually happen in the consumption - add the good to filter out the bad naturally.

Certainly there has been a sense of loss. Some of my favorite foods are no longer "available" to me. The toughest mental challenge is accepting that I do not want them, but could eat them if I really wanted to. I simply choose 'Not' to have them. Then again, with pizza being my numero uno guilty pleasure I certainly have no choice but to abandon aforementioned favorites; adult onset lactose intolerance decided that for me. However, nothing says I couldn't choose to just eat some; I would just be choosing to suffer as well.

The mental drain of constantly fighting to choose what to eat, and what not to, is most likely the number one challenge. Trying to scramble to figure out something to eat at the end of a work day was proof as to why the prepared food industry thrives despite the nutrient vacant quality of 99% of the products out there. Simply put, its "too much work" to be healthy, for most people. Planning ahead is key.

Then there are the physical withdrawal symptoms. Beyond the caffeine reaction, I've had a sugar decompression sickness that left me with headaches, waves of nausea, bloating and a number of other unmentionables none of which I want to endure. So the big question is,"Why am I experiencing withdrawl symptoms if there was nothing wrong with mainstream food I had in my diet?"

Let's just say there is nothing wrong with it, in which case, I am certainly questionable for going against the flow of general society, and nothing proves that more than the reactions one gets when making the statement,"I'm (going) vegan."

The reactions are almost priceless.

See, I've decided to go against the grain, to speak both proverbially and literally. It's almost like Dorothy choosing to follow the Red Brick road.

In reality, maybe Dorothy would have been better to follow that route? Who decided she really needed to go see the Wizard in Oz? That road was littered with risk and fraught with danger. What if the red brick road went to the GO station, and she could have hopped an L-Train to Oz? We'll never know. 

See, the way I figure it, I can choose whatever road I want in life; this really is just a race against myself. The question is merely which route do I want to take. None are predetermined. No route is guaranteed. The destination is final - but we won't argue about where that is on this blog, that's a different site.

What I can tell for sure, just two weeks in, is that I feel considerably better already. I have more energy. I am sleeping better. I enjoy the (new) foods I am eating. And if I truly detoxed leaving the mainstream foods, did I really just spend 35+ years on a dark path?

Now, there is no proof that I can tangibly put down on paper. What I can say is that a particular farmer featured in the documentary Fresh explained it in a way that makes absolutely the most sense to me. Joel Salatin, a homesteader in TN, was featured indepth. His farming style is simple: re-enact the migratory patterns of livestock in the wild and let nature take its course. Everything is a cyclical.

Salatin grazes his livestock in sections on the farm, cycling them from one grazing paddock to the next. Each day they basically move on to greener pastures. Just like they would have prior to domestication, or if left unattended on a large field (and by that I mean, not stacked side by side in a mud pit as is seen on typicaly revenue-driven mass meat farms). After the cows have moved on, the chickens are brought in. Their natural pecking and fertilization happens. And so continues the cycle.

The cows are fed naturally occurring greens. They move on, leaving behind pure, organic fertilizer whch is sorted and processed by the chickens. What's left after the chickens is easily broke down and reabsorbed back into the soil to continue again.

Rinse. Repeat.

Now, I'm not a farming guru by any means (Although I did run a mean streak on Farmville!) but I have to tell you that Salatin's process makes sense. After all, I'm pretty sure with just a minor effort I'll find this migrating-grazing technique is pretty standard going right back to Laura Ingalls' day's On The Banks Of Plum Creek, and beyond. It Just. Makes. Sense. It's all about the Roaming capabilities of your livestock, never mind your cell phone. I can't even BEGIN to explain the part about population percentage-to-area ratios.

Compare that to the stall-kept, hormone-fed, over-stimulated milk and beef cattle that are processed for mainstream consumption, at the end of that yellow brick road - and by yellow, I do mean gold - because obviously big Agro biz is all about gold in the coffers and not the quality. Or the wellness.

Never mind the reaction people have to me ditching the low-quality food. Why don't I have a reaction to them insisting on staying on the bad stuff? I'm starting to believe that I am going to end up extremely flustered as to why people would blindly consume what they don't truly know about. After all, the latest news flash today was that there is potentially an artificial calamari on the market that is actually pig rectum. Now this report seems he-said-she-said and likely a hoax, but the fact that we should be reassured that this would be no worse than standard process meats is unnerving. As stated, there is always a likelihood that typical sausage and processed meats already contain fecal matter as a standard ingredient anyhow! And in the US, the FDA even has guidelines to allow for it. Yum!

The simple fact is, big business farming goes against natural processes and laws of nature.

So back to my question of my detoxing. What if this IS the red brick road. And what if it's not easier and in fact, actually harder, but healthier? And what am I missing? I have not even begun to tackle the tougher change in living vegan: personal hygiene products, clothing, and so on. Naturally, the second topic to tackle after the kitchen is the bathroom, as I'll strive to swap out deodorants, toothpastes, soaps and other health-related items to eliminate the mainstream brands that presumably alter my bio-chemical wellness. Tough terrain ahead, I don't doubt.

I may be underestimating this life change in choosing paths to follow, but so far, the benefits are worthwhile. Now, to stay the course!

Grazefully yours,

FatGuy

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Lying in Wait...

Definition of "lying in wait": 

1. ambush, ambuscade, lying in wait, trap ...

The world was once flat, or dome shaped. To suggest humans were residing on a giant ball of dirt was ludicrous. The idea that our world was round was beyond comprehension, thus it was "wrong". Denial of the truth behind the science of the planet was futile, as it was eventually proven to the masses to such an extent that any fifth grader can tell you what the Earth looks like. Just ask Jeff Foxworthy.

Someone at some point told everyone the Earth was indeed flat though. It was "common knowledge".

It's funny to me that we have so much "common knowledge" about us in our daily lives. I blame our parents.

I've decided that the act of parenting is the art of mistruth. It is a wholly practiced process of providing information in such fashion that you are guided along in life to the beat of their drum. Until you take their drumsticks away and beat your own damn drum.

See, they tell us lies our whole lives:

"You can be anything you want when you grow up."

No. You can't. I couldn't carry a tune for the life of me; I get booed off Rock Band when it's just me playing. Yet, in accordance with the advice of my parents, I could have been a rock star. No. I couldn't.

"Everyone's a winner."

No. Everyone isn't a winner. Not everyone can be in first place. Not everyone should get a trophy. When everyone wins, there is no accountability for performance. It reduces motivation. Truly, you can only be as great as you are; if you're already a winner, then why try. You already won.

So, if you can be anything you want and don't really need to try, Life is a piece of cake, isn't it? Or in my previous world, Life is several pieces of cake.

Perhaps they should have said,"Sorry, kid, but if you don't try to be SOMETHING when you grow up, and do your best to WIN that race, you can't be anything you want cause you didn't try hard enough."

You can't be a healthy, fit, athletic, contributing member of society if you don't train for it.

Furthermore, why don't they tell you that cutting calories is the answer to staying thin or losing weight. For the same reason, why don't they advise you that nutritionally dense foods are contributors to your mental and emotional health and that biologically you are pre-programmed to operate differently if you are loaded up on high fructose corn syrup and other refined sugars. Sugar is the cocaine of the culinary world.

They told me that I needed to eat my vegetables to be healthy. Why didn't they tell me that if I don't eat my vegetables, I'll grow up to be obese, suffering from gout and facing a future of heart problems and other organ failures.

Also, why didn't they tell me that most diet products aren't really healthy?

Why do they let you believe that children's cereal is a smart thing to eat? 

Why do they allow McDonald's to show nothing but smiley happy people? Why aren't these children being exploited in McDonald's ads:

These devout caloric followers deserve the kudos for driving stock shares north, no? I bet they'd work for french fries.

We're inundated with facts from the moment we enter this world, that are false and even Snopes.com can't keep up with it all.

They lie to us. And wait. While they wait, we spend. We consume. We repeat.

We do this, potentially, for our whole lives. Or, until we learn the truth. At least, until some of us do.

The sad part is that when I try to explain this to friends, family, and loved ones I experience what I am sure Galileo felt when he tried to claim the sun, not the Earth, was the center of the known universe. "Common knowledge" reassures them that "Fat Free" yogurt and diet soda are the best way to cure the common fatty.

So, if that's the case, then how have humans survived on this planet for (far) longer than 2,000+ years (We're not going to debate Creationism versus Evolution here) without Danone Activia, the Delicious Probiotic Yogurt with BL Regularis Culture? We must have barely made it through the Crusades because of the shortages.  After all, according to the ads Activia yogurt is the only yogurt with BL Regularis in it. So, that must mean it's fantastic!

Which brings me to the acceptance of the fact that we're led to believe whatever rich fat cat business owners want us to believe. In reality, anything we need to thrive and flourish is naturally occurring. Yet, mainstream society can't embrace that thought. It goes against everything we've been told.

I guess it's just a matter of time, and science, before it's proven. Hurry up and wait.

Round and round we go,
Fat Guy

Squid Pro Quo

Speak with any old fisherman and he'll tell you about the "one that got away", almost taking his entire boat with him it in. In fact, go back through literary history and you'll find tales of giant seafaring creatures with long tentacles grasping entire ships with ease.

Until recently, these creatures were fabled myths: Oft talked about, often suspected and occasionally proven to exist through minimal evidence.Yet, we're a global society of fact-mongers requiring hard evidence that extends far beyond a reasonable doubt usually depending on at least six of the five senses to convince us.

There is no such thing as Santa. Neither sasquatch, nor yeti hide behind trees. The Grinch is merely a cartoon. The Kraken was folklore. Until now. These scientists have finally proven it.

Similarly, the idea of living a healthy athletic lifestyle was something of imaginary conjurations to me as well. That's a story that neither Lucas nor Spielberg could make happen even with all the creative talent at Skywalker Ranch. Well, perhaps they could superimpose my face on Dwayne Johnson's body, but it wouldn't be real. Again, a story.

Partly because I've spent far too much time working rather than living, and partly because of aforementioned work etiquette I've spent far too much time (and money) invested in convenience foods, I've denied myself a healthy lifestyle. From time to time, I would get the urge (and never around January, I refuse) to get back into the gym routine. Every time I did, I would spend countless hours researching and investigating the latest in whey isolate protein powders. Every single on of them would disappoint.

It just seemed to me that protein drinks required milk, and milk had fat in it, and even more complicating for me was the lactose. So naturally, when I came into this latest evolution of my life, I decided to forgo the protein shake effort and simply stick to "healthy food". That is, until my uncle, a seasoned runner for as long as I've been on this earth, introduced me to +Brendan Brazier and the Thrive series that I've mentioned a few times.

Now, I won't lie. I was skeptical that Vega One, the plant-based protein shake formula would truly be consumable without a lot of effort. However, to think that I am even drinking kale these days is miraculous. In fact, over the last year or two I declined any time my sister offered me a sample of her morning shake, while I was visiting her, and to think that my skepticism delayed the inevitable epiphany is frustrating, but I digress; the kale, peanut butter, banana, ice and unsweetened almond milk beverage I now consume daily required protein to truly balance my nutritional income. 

Initially, for my daily morning shake, I was using pumpkin powder that I absconded from a friend. I found it gritty and displeasing, but it did the trick. Later, I received a package of delightful hemp protein powder as well, that I enjoyed, and still do. Finally, having spent enough time following the Thrive books, and reading about MyVega products, I decided to splurge and purchase a tub of Vega One Nutritional Shake powder after seeing an advertisement for it in a local grocer's weekly flyer.

My flavor selection was one of a Disqualification process. The choices, French Vanilla, Chocolate, Vanilla Chai, Berry and Natural flavor were lined up in front of me at the point-of-sale display. Eventually, I settled on the Natural flavor suspecting that as a neutral flavor it would be most easily concealed and would be most versatile in the different Blended Recipes I choose.And so it has been, as I've included it in each drink every day since purchase.

Yet, the full irony lies in my random, ok-i'll-do-it-to-prove-you-wrong decision this morning, while talking to aforementioned running man, Uncle H, who advised me that filtered water is his preferred selection of fluid delivery mediums for said protein powder.

I had doubts. My senses screamed in agony in anticipation of a foul, stomach-turning experience much like I've endured in the whey isolate days of water-fountain torture.

Having purchased the single-serving packages of Vega One in three flavors - Chocolate, Vanilla and Berry - I lined up my three powder pouches and spun my tumbler in true Russian Roulette a la Deer Hunter style, and death by Chocolate it was.

I carefully added the dark, chocolatey brown powder to my beloved tumbler, and slowly - more so somewhat reluctantly - I started to pour a cup of filtered water into the plastic vessel of pending doom.

The fires of Mordor seemed more inviting to a Hobbit than this appealed to me.

Believe that I shook that tumbler for all it was worth, as if to exorcise a demon of biblical proportions from within it. That, and I was procrastinating. I'm not sure which was expected to leave a more bitter taste in my mouth: the powdered, plant-based contents with lukewarm water, or the idea that I just wasted a $5 pouch of protein shake with water instead of a dairy alternative.

Surprisingly, giant tentacles didn't pull me under. There was no giant beak biting back. I lived. 

Later in the day I went back and read more about the shake development. The Vega One series was developed over roughly a year's span, and was specifically designed by Brendan to use water as the fluid mixing agent. It has everything you need before it even gets wet.

That said, as of roughly 12 hours before this blog entry, I was still a skeptic. I still didn't believe. My five senses were already insistent that this Vega One needed to be hidden. Fortunately someone (slightly) older and wiser had a good tip. 

Same goes for my sister, only younger (slightly) and wiser,  to whom I should thank for eventually, albeit passively, converting me to kale lover and inspired me to give blending a whirl.

For their contribution to my betterment, each of them has a delivery en route. To my uncle, there is a package of an alternate plant-based protein powder that we spoke about this morning, made by Genuine Health out of Toronto, ON. The least I could do was introduce him to an alternative brand of a similar product, albeit we'll both likely remain loyal to MyVega. And secondly, to my sister, a flavor sample pack of each of the Vega One flavors with hopes that she'll enjoy the MyVega products as much as her uncle and I do.

It was the least I could do: Tit for tat, one good turn deserves another. As long as it doesn't bite back.

Without them, this might have been the one that got away.

FG

Waste Not, Want Not (Part II)

I think I can say with absolute accuracy that at no point in the history of mankind has anyone ever exited our plane of existence, to the cadence of every other person sighing in relief and uttering,"Thank goodness... He overstayed his welcome on this planet."

That has never happened, and likely never will. Every single being on this planet is loved, cherished, liked, needed or otherwise celebrated on this ball of dirt, in life and in death by at least someone, albeit even by a stranger or lunatic fan. Posthumous recognition counts too.

Life is simply too short.

Less than two calendar weeks have passed since my decision to switch from a typical mainstream diet to that of a health conscious, couscous having, tofu frying, bean-eating, animal-loving vegetable serial killer. The more time that goes on, the more I adjust, and learn, and struggle, and achieve. I had no idea how deep and far this life change would run though. My biggest regret is simply not embracing this sooner and yes, I definitely will spread the word and share the joy that I have as a result of "Thriving".... Compliments of Mr. +Brendan Brazier's development team.

Which brings me to my latest thought of "waste".... Don't waste your life.

All too often we let ourselves off the hook. "I'll get to it this weekend."

"I'll call them next week."

"We'll be sure to see each other next time I visit."

"Maybe we can go see your family next Christmas instead of mine."

And next thing you know it, your life is half - or completely over - and you realize how little of it you actually lived.

The last twenty years has been a blur of sodium-laden, preservative-enhanced, drive-through windows product and frozen foods, with less than a handful of which were remarkable. I can almost count on just one hand how many meals I truly, truly enjoyed and savored and relished. I mean, I often tried something and remarked how great the flavor was or how much I enjoyed it, but I'm referring to those blow-your-socks-off-tell-all-your-friends-this-will-be-my-Last-Supper-if-I-end-up-on-Death-Row kind of meal.

The last twenty years has been a smoke-and-mirrors show of health and happiness as well. I can't remember ever being able to jog a kilometer in my life without suffering cardiac arrest. I don't remember ever truly feeling "athletic". I never embraced the potential my body frame had for football, bodybuilding or battle ram type work.

Fortunately, I'm invincible, immortal and ready to rock the rest of my life. Starting now.

Eternally yours,
FG

Waste Not, Want Not (Part I)

If I could go back in time and stop myself from purchasing all of the foods that went to waste in my cupboards and fridge over the years, I'm certain I'd have enough money to pay cash for a car. A new car. With ease.

The reality is I've bought stuff I shouldn't. Stuff that went to waste. All for the sake of me not using the products or produce up in time.Ironically, most of that stuff was prepared, ready-made, highly processed crap that was engineered with a long shelf-life while making life easier and meal assembly simpler. The irony is that my choice to eat healthier has left me having to spend countless hours researching and preparing my new meals, and yet I waste very little now as a result.

Sometimes I don't have what I need. For example, Vegandad's Blog has a number of excellent recipes, but almost all require stuff that either I don't have ready or I don't have. Take the sausage recipe for instance; I had neither the right beans nor the gluten flour, so I made arrangements to leave work in a timely fashion and stop at a bulk food store and health food store on the way home.

The plaza I needed to visit is within a stone's throw of several well-known burger joints, a pizzeria and a national coffee chain. Every single one of those brightly lit, highly appealing mainstream fast food service centres was competing for my attention. Now, in a past life, there would have been no competition between the fast food and the health food store; the pizza joint would have won out. Why? Because it's easier to grab a large tray of pizza and wings through a call-ahead take out order, have it plated and on the table within 35 minutes of leaving work and be done within the first hour I get home. Easy peasy, no cleanup and if I got a veggie Pizza, it was healthy, right?

Wrong. But how was I supposed to know? I was still plugged into The Matrix. Processed food was acceptable. In fact, it's even healthier! Just look at the Mold Zapper. It now keeps bread fresh for two months without refridgeration. How great is that! Totally healthier than home made bread! The ads said so!

And therein, on that street of brightly lit neon signs beckoning me into a lactose intolerance hell of double patty with four-kinds of cheese unhappiness was my epiphany: My life was made more complicated and expensive by my attempt to be more time efficient by eating processed foods, the very foods designed to be easier and less expensive.

Back to present tense, here I am tonight with two bowls of beans soaking in water overnight so they are softened up tomorrow to make a meatless dish. Additionally, I have a fridge stocked with homemade almond milk, veggies cut up for my lunch tomorrow, a sack of sweet potatoes under the counter waiting to be turned into a soup and plans for a weekend veggie lasagna on the back of my mind. And it's only Wednesday.Why? Because in going vegan, there isn't a place to just stop on the way home that offers fresh, not-processed foods of a healthy nature. To be healthy I need to be proactive. To be financially efficient and smart, I need to be proactive. To be vegan, or at least vegetarian as I have become, I need to be proactive.

By being proactive about meals, and giving up convenient fast foods, I am efficient while saving money. And I haven't done without a single day since my transition started.

FG

"Wake up, Neo..."

This afternoon I am feeling much like Neo did after becoming unplugged: Dizzy, weak, disoriented, nauseated and irritable. Why didn't anyone tell me being healthy was this miserable?

Sunday night I made the decision to be completely dairy-free. A week ago, I "left" the meat world. That was easy. As a coffee-with-cream lover, the transition off dairy was more complicated, but I found coconut milk (retail) and almond milk (homemade) that suitably covered my needs. I was set, so I thought.

Sadly, my decade of project management experience came up short in my planning when I failed to acknowledge that in leaving both dairy and meat products, I was also avoiding any "processed" foods which included sugar, sugar substitutes, preservatives and other atypical add-ins that are included in foods, and thus toxic.

Needless to say, by this afternoon when I started feeling a migraine coming on, along with a case of the afternoon Head Nods and a desire to curl up under my desk had I actually fit, I was concerned. Was I ill? Am I coming down with something?

In reality, I'm likely succumbing to the typical side affects of going natural, with detoxification causing physical symptoms. I wish I'd read THIS before I went "clean".

Note to self: Next time I do this, go on a wilderness retreat.

FG  

Best. Shake. Ever.

This entry is brought to you by the power of fruit, juiced. No additives.

So I've become obsessed with morning shakes. For starters, I am not a morning person. Correction: I am not a morning person and I do not eat breakfast. Or rather, I did not.. I am now.

My morning routine is coming together, food-wise (I still have to convince myself on a molecular level that morning cardio is fun).

Half an organic lemon. Squeeze into glass. Add warm water. Drink.

Then, three large, full kale leaves. Wash and stick in blender.
Add 2 tablespoons of nut butter (peanut, almond, whatever you prefer).
1 scoop of +Brendan Brazier 's Vega One Natural.
1 cup of fresh, home-made almond juice (recipe below)
3-5 pieces of frozen organic banana pieces
3-4 large ice cubes

Purify with blender (that's a cross between Liquify and Puree)

The best part of this twist on +Drew Manning's Spinach Protein Shake, featured on BlendedRecipes.com was the fresh almond juice. What a difference from the usual brand name stuff.

Easily made:
Rinse then soak 1 cup of raw almost overnight in a sealed container.
Drain. Add to blender.
Add 2 cups of fresh, clean water.
Pinch of sea salt.
Blend. (Or, as I call it, "Purify")
Strain.
Bottle.
Refridgerate.

My latest purchase, and so far my favorite, is a simple case of mason jars from a local grocery. Filled nearly to the top to reduce the amount of air, they even keep fresh juiced orange juice very nicely... zero noticeable oxidization. Perfect for storing the almond milk.

Purrfectly content,
Fat Guy

Rave-worthy Ravioli

Today's dinner from scratch: Sweet Potato & Spinach Ravioli with a light garlic creme sauce. (Recipe found HERE)

I'm an Italian pasta lover. It certainly contributed to me reaching my peak weight of over 330 lbs. LOVE pasta.The noodles, the sauce, the whole meal. One of the best things I ever learned, as a foodie, was how to make pasta from scratch -  with or without the fancy KitchenAid stand mixer attachment.

My first ever run of pasta, years ago, was actually on one of those traditional stainless steel hand-crank counter-top units. Later, I graduated to the expensive mixer attachment versions. That said, this is the first time I have actually ever attempted ravioli, and did so without the fancy gizmos, beyond the sheet roller which I used mainly for the ease and consistency.

This recipe was three portions: Pasta, Filler, Sauce

PASTA 

The pasta recipe itself is simple. I used my food processor to do most of the leg work, but you can use a bowl and fork, a mixer or any other blending method you prefer to mix:

Equal parts flour (I used 1 1/2 c stone ground whole wheat and 1 1/2 c white flour)
2 tables spoons olive oil
4 table spoons chia seeds
Water as needed to bind, depending on humidity.

Note: The chia seeds, in accordance with most instructions I've read online, need to be pre-soaked for roughly 5 mins in water, and the seed/water mixture is used in substitution for eggs in a "normal" pasta recipe.

One blended, you hand-knead the dough; it should be tacky but not sticky. Form into roughly a tennis size ball, and lightly flour. Set aside.

FILLER
The filling, or filler, was easy, natural, and subtle. I simply peeled a large sweet potato, diced and boiled until soft. While the sweet potato was boiling, I finely chopped (using a food processor) approx 4 cups for baby spinach (spinach, kale, or any other similar green would work).

Once the sweet potato was soft enough to mash, I added it to the bowl of spinach, with salt, pepper, onion flakes and basil. Mashed until blended thoroughly. Set aside.

Assembly of the pasta is fairly easy. Cut the dough ball into sections and roll out into strips. I like to use a mechanical roller to keep the pieces consistent which is important for cooking.

Lay out one strip of pasta, spoon filler into sections, and lay second strip of pasta on top. Then press pasta down at edges to seal them around filling. Cut, separate and later add to a boiling pot of water, just a few at a time. Cooking time is 3-5 minutes.

SAUCE
Basic white sauce will do. For me, it's simply this:
At medium heat, melt a table spoon of "butter" in pan with teaspoon of olive oil to prevent burning, and add a table spoon (or your taste preference) of minced garlic.
Mix a heaping table spoon of flour into a cup of warm water. When consistently mixed, add to pan.
Once mixture bubbles, stir in in a cup of your preferred unsweetened, unflavored non-dairy.

Thereafter, add salt and pepper to your taste level and stir frequently to keep from burning. Let it reduce. Good time to move to lower heat.

For me, a baby spinach salad with all the trimmings (carrot, tomato, celery, cucumber etc) and a light balsamic vinaigrette was highly complimentary.


Plate the pasta. Add sauce. Enjoy.

FG

@TeamHappyPlanet Soup For Lunch

For some time now I've been a big fan of @TeamHappyplanet products.

Today at Chez Moi, I served myself Happy Planet's Thai Coconut Soup for the first time. Wonderful stuff. Very light and refreshing but flavorful without the heaviness I usually find in Thai red curry dishes. The fact that it comes in a resealable pouch means you can take just enough and save the rest (if you have any left) for another meal (within 7 days of opening, not that it will last that long if you let friends know about it).



Went wonderful with some chia bread toast. Just an FYI. :)

Highly recommended.And if not, well...

No Soup For You,
Fat Guy

Keep your enemies close...

Nevermind, your friends, keep your enemies close and your frienemies closer. Frienemies? Yes, frienemies. The ones that you think are friends but in actuality, they're just out to get you. And your money.

Comfort foods are frienemies. The ones we go to when we're feeling blue, like the trusty ole proverbial tub of ice cream on those sad cry-on-a-shoulder moments I've heard other people talking about. And what about the "Happy Meal" served by a smiley clown? After years of assaulting my waistline with his commercialized gratuitous likability, I think that guy deserves his own lo-jack ankle bracelet that goes off whenever he comes near me. And by goes off, I'm thinking "invisible fence" collar.

That said, all Golden M's aside, my latest personal favorite of Know Thy Frienemy 2013 award goes to the A&W "Buddy Burger". After all, its name suggests its your friend.This is a double-patty burger with processed cheese on a white bread bun that has enough grease to soak through its waxed paper wrapper. Perfectly awful, and perfectly legal.

Who the heck comes up with it and how the heck does he get away with having his best friend Approve it for re-sale? I mean, let's be clear... Raw milk, which has presumably been consumed for longer than the wheel has been around, is deemed unsafe, thus not approved for human consumption. But you can feed your kid a Happy Meal, and it's perfectly legal.

Which brings me to my midday Sunday rant, partially driven by a weekend of schockumentary-induced realizations about food, and partly based on my fresh OJ (compliments of organic California naval oranges and my Jack LaLanne PJP): The food I've been raised on until now simply sucks.

But I'm a week into my life change and I'm absolutely flooded with the realization that everything about my lifestyle has come at the expense of the planet and my well being. It goes beyond food; every type of soap, every cleaning product, my personal hygiene product choices, right down to the materials my clothes are made out of. Something has suffered for the sake of production for almost every material I own. Some of it I need, such as deodorant. I never realized before now just how much my lifestyle depended on manufactured, highly processed produce at an expense beyond the monetary count at the cash register.

I feel like I've truly become awakened and aware of the fog of merchandising and manufacturing that I've been living in.

Suddenly, the idea of homesteading has a whole new meaning.

Storebought Thought,
Fat Guy

Chewed to Death!

You know, in some of my social circles that statement (or opening subject line) would immediately usher gasps of shock. To a scuba diver, the last thing you want to think about is being chewed to death.

Ironically, I'm not actually speaking of being second highest on the food chain, and being mauled by a lion, tiger, bear or shark. I'm speaking from the perspective of the foods we put in our mouths and how its killing us.

A dear loved one of mine was under the weather for quite some time. She spent nights on end going to bed early, curled up in a fetal position and hunched over in pain. I won't go into great detail as to the exact symptoms but what it all boiled down to was month-after-month of endless tests, missed work to see doctors and inconclusive results. Until she visited a Wellness clinic and consulted with a naturopath.

There are far too many items to discuss, and some more intense than others, but my reason for bringing this story up was a conversation I had with a friend this morning who inquired as to why I was driven to consider veganism. In short, it's because I want to consider living a long, healthy, happy, and prosperous life. And if something as simple as chewing gum can deter that, I am more than happy to give it up.

So beyond the argument of whether fuzzy bunnies are tasty, or whether milk is bad, there really is a basic fundamental conversation that should take place: Are you careful and responsible about what you put in your mouth?

To think, a stick of gum can be detrimental to your health, never mind a host of other candies. In doubt? Read THIS.

Really, from what I can tell, vegans and vegetarians alike are simply people who are responsible to themselves (and their loved ones) and devoted to ensuring quality of sustenance without exploiting their natural surroundings. Now, correct me if I'm wrong, and yes there are exceptions and outcasts to any group, but if I'm going to spend any significant amount of time beyond now paying taxes and going to work every day, I'd at least like to be happy and healthy doing it.

The only thing worse than living a short, miserable, unhealthy life is living a long one.

Chew on that.
FatGuy

Irritable Vowel Syndrome. Yes, "vowel".

One of the most confusing, suffocating, panic-inducing experiences I'm facing as I stare into the bowels of NeverEverLand (thats, to never ever eat meat again Land), is the sense of a bombardment of irritating new words.

"What the heck is a tempeh?", I wonder, as I gaze at a list of Vegan Protein options,"It must be a typo."

Apparently it's a real word. So, I have an idea.

In June, ComicCon is coming to Niagara Falls. I shall dress up as a Klingon, and recite protein alternatives in double time, "Tofu seitan quinoa! Flax bulger! TEMPEH!"

I must be cautious though; I figure, with enough intensity, I'll be arrested for uttering threats (in another language), or at least escorted off the property with an event ban. Oppression!

I suppose my point is, there are so many "new" words (at least to me) that it's truly like learning another language. Oh wait - that's because it is. I mean, if I wrapped all of those products in a yellow, wax paper wrapper with a big golden "M" and added "Mc" to the beginning of it, I could sell it in approximately 34,000 franchise locations. No question.

Of course, we'd have to leave it on the left side of the menu because only weirdos eat from the right (healthier) side.

It's amazing the power of words. It's a power to manipulate. For some reason, when you categorically define something as "the better" or "healthier" choice, we second guess it as a mainstream society. Perhaps that's why I'm feeling so overwhelmed at the idea of such a drastic change.

There also seem to be so many rules to these new words. Some soy is good, but not too much. And seitan is packed full of protein and is fantastic - except if you're guten-intolerant and then it's uncomfortable to say the least.

One of the first most comprehensive yet easy to read breakdowns on Proteins can be found HERE. It's a good, easy three-pager, with the list of protein options on the third page.

I suppose this is why I've called this a transition period. I can't learn it all in one day - or even week - it will take time. Time to learn, and try, and tweak and mix and play until I find the concoctions I like the most. Fortunately, the vegan community - thus far -has been warm, and friendly and welcoming and informative and helpful. In time, the irritating part should pass, and hopefully I'll have successfully replaced all of the toxic sources of proteins with good ones in my diet.

"I" before "E", except after "C",
Fat Guy

Fat Guy's Analogy of the Day

My "Why Should I Go Vegan" analogy of the day for January 3, 2013:

Think of the World like a plot of land on which you want to build your house. It's only so big. Maximum dimensions. Only so much that you can do with that land. Only so much Life that static amount of land will support.

Plan, design, build, decorate, furnish and move into a ridiculously oversized house on that land. Use up every square foot you can. Pave whatever greenspace you can. Knock down any trees. Invite as many people as you can over. Acquire a lot of pets.Stack those pets on top of each other so you can keep as many as possible.

Oh, and by the way.... for that enormous house... heat/cool it, leave the lights on, spend all your money maintaining it, spend all of your resources keeping it up, but only use part of the house to live in.

How long before you think your plot of land is going to be the last place on earth you or anyone else want's to be?

That's what we're doing to our planet.

Food for thought... Or is that, Thought for Food.

FatGuy

Gimme one reason....

One of my favorite songs' lyrics.... Gimme one reason to stay here, an' I'll turn right back around....

On the other hand... gimme one reason to right off agro-business sourced protein, and I'll run far far away! Here it is:

The PETA video 'Meet Your Meat' http://bit.ly/pRnZZb

Watch it. I dare you. Then I double dare you to mock a vegan.

FatGuy

Got Change, Mister?

When Episodes I, II and III hit theaters, I watched the movie in the company of the largest size popcorn and soda the theater sold. Just as I had with dozens, if not hundreds, of movies before that.

When The Lord of the Rings trilogy hit the big screen I did the same thing.

It goes back to my family motto, a genetically encoded belief system that states,"If 'Some' is GOOD then 'more' is BETTER and 'Lots' is freakin' *GREAT*!"

After all, there are logical reasons to getting the largest size snack combo:

Dollar value/Return on Investment
More kernels and fluid ounces per penny than the small or mid sizes.

Don't Skip A Beat
No need to leave halfway through the show for a refill , the gallon of fluid is enough to keep hydrated for 90-120 running minutes (or more in the case of LOTR)

Manliness
Real men don't drink out of dainty little cups. Keg size for masculinity!

To me, at that point in my life, the idea of getting the "regular" size WAS getting the largest. That was my regular serving and to think of anything less was ridiculous... sheer insanity! The concept of small-sizing went against everything that was bred into me.

Or was it.

Jack LaLanne once said (and I paraphrase),"If its man-made, don't eat it."

Then, he made a juicer.

And it was a good juicer. So good in fact that I bought one and I love it. Had anyone suggested to me years ago that I would one day enjoy the benefits of tossing an apple, carrots, celery, a beet and some cucumber all down a little shaft of a whirlymatic buzzing machine on my counter, nevermind actually look forward to it, I'd have had you committed to the same magical resort where the "small size" soda drinkers stay and frolic all day in tight white long-sleeve jackets.

So far, as I delve into the world of Veganism, I am greeted with that same feeling of shock and panic that came over me when I considered never ever drinking soda or smoking a cigarette again. The idea of that change was a concept as obscure and intangible as quantum physics. Could I really give up foods that I've loved for decades?

"It's change for the better!" I tell myself.

Why better? For a lot of reasons. Most of which are as intangible to the same people who can't comprehend quarks, nevermind actually describe Einstein-Podolsky-Rosen paradox in layman's terms.The reality is this:

- we were never designed to each processed foods.

- the world's natural resources (water, minerals, land) are being exploited trying to feed the planet's human
population and yet most of the food goes to waste while at least 1 billion people starve every day.

- the means by which most processed foods are cultivated, from start to finish, either directly or indirectly is unhealthy and affects us in ways we don't even realize until its too late, or are too stubborn to acknowledge.

- the "rules" were developed by our basic biological functions. But we ignore them in lieu of "recommendations" made up by a bunch of rich folks who have vested interests in us buying their products. Ergo, the Milk Man is never going to tell you milk is bad for you, hence, "It does a body good!" (What they fail to mention is "the body" is the governing body of rich capitalists who gain financially from cows being so over-milked and over-treated that they are physically ill and should not be milked, thus more medications and treatments are used to over compensate for the abuse of the animal's genetic system, hence more garbage being added to the milk, which you later put in a nice clean glass to serve your kids. Yum!)

My struggle is not so much of an ethical or moral dilemma; just because its cute and fuzzy doesn't mean it wouldn't taste great. For that reason, one of my biggest hurdles to face is rationalizing giving up protein sources that come from free-range, naturally-raised sources and even those with zero human intervention, such as Newfoundland Moose (which, I gotta tell you is hands down one of the best reasons to remain a carnivore!). But, rest assured, the personal dilemma to give up red meat that's shrink wrapped, hormone-laden and potentially bacteria-filled that was produced on a farm owned by some rich beef tycoon...well..... that's an easy decision.

If mass-produced farm animals are the only source of food left on Planet Carl, then "No thanks...."

I'd rather eat Schrödinger's cat.

Sin-cerely,
FatGuy

It Ain't Easy Bein' Green...

Kermit the Frog had a love hate relationship with swine. Perhaps he passed that along to a few of us in generations thereafter. He also passed along this catchy tune. It certainly isn't easy bein' green.

The toughest challenge for me in "going green" and raising my (green) pom-poms and rah-rah off to Herbs-r-Us with the other limey bastards, dancing in sync to a catchy tune with the other health crazed Oompah Loompahs is simply the incessant nagging from my taste buds for salty-sweet goodness that comes in a pretty, crinkly wrapper! After all, Kale is not exciting to look at. In fact, its undeniably boring to the untrained eye, amid a plethora of phallic, verte protrusions from the local grocer's Produce section. Until you get to know it.

Frankly, it's easier to love bacon. Especially chocolate-covered bacon..... I digress; back on point:

A quality brand blender is a good start, if you want to love greens. I have to tell you that my KitchenAid culinary tornado of a blender, purchased on discount as a refurb at a culinary outlet store for less than the price of dinner-for-two at a steak house sans overpriced wine selection, has been a key factor in my new Green Love.

Second, is a good recipe. I have to tell you that +Drew Manning has posted an absolutely fantastic Spinach Recipe that I enjoy thoroughly. It was giant leap for mankind, but a baby step for a fat guy with limited flexibility in the legs that left my taste buds dazed, confused but most importantly, open to the idea of an encore performance. In fact, I have come to crave my morning shake.Even in the afternoons. It's almost like I can't wait to go to bed just so I can get up and have my Spinach Protein Shake! (ok, it's not that good - i still enjoy going to bed early for a few reasons, but the reward of this shake in the AM is a Plus - especially when someone else washes the blender after for you).

Try the recipe located at BlendedRecipes.com, and listed as Spinach Protein Smoothie. It's been spotlighted by Dr. Oz, The View and has received a number of other celebrity endorsements. Frankly, it just tastes great. Here are a few of my suggestions to tweak it:

• Pre-slice organic bananas, and lay out on a cookie tray. Store in freezer for a few hours until they set. Then transfer them to a freezer bag or container for easy access/storage.
• Switch up the "milk" to adjust the flavour.. you can use hemp, soy, almond, coconut or whatever "dairy" you prefer. For me, unsweetened rice milk and coconut milks are my preference.
• Switch up the protein powders you use for the same reason. I am currently using pumpkin seed protein but it has a distinct flavour and texture that a few participants to taste-testing have found off-putting.
• Kale works great for this, instead of spinach.

Now, I would love to tell you about the heaping spoonful of delicious Liberte French Vanilla Greek Yogurt that really puts a nice spin on this, but that would be faux pas given the dairy basis of aforementioned yogurt and I haven't found a reasonable replacement as of yet so enjoy as described above.

Several weeks into this protein shake consumption, I took my green obsession to the next level, and purchased a juicer. More on that later!

Shake'em if ya got'em!
FatGuy

Making a list, checking it twice...a minute.. daily

I recall (and not so fondly) the days of researching papers for class. Those days were spent in a large room. A very large room. A very large room full of books. Most of those books were not what you needed at that moment in time. In fact, after you had acquired the skills to open a mini-file-cabinet full of recipe cards (if you're under 25 you probably have no idea where this is going) and then itemizing a row, shelf and other coordinates, and then finding your way to those coordinates, you would find the book you needed was taken out already. It was probably not returned. Years ago. Because the library [lahy-brer-ee, from Old French librairie,  from Medieval Latin librāris,  n use of Latin librārius  relating to books, from liber  book] was the only local, easy access source of knowledge for inexperienced little minds.

There was no such thing as smart-phones with wikipedia. Those were called Encyclopedias and they required hours of perusing, again, if they were there.

So the joy of taking on something new in modern times is the ease of acquiring information. For example, take veganism - a much and oft misunderstood practice (or lack thereof), that is actually easily interpreted with three easy steps:

1. Log in to Twitter, search "Vegan" and Follow every single person in the search result. Or try to. It's time consuming to click Follow. Imagine how many calories you can burn doing this! CARDIO!

2. Peruse your list of tweets. UnFollow inappropriate or useless twits... er twitterers. Favorite the tweets that you like. Retweet the ones you reeeeeaaaally like.

3. Bookmark any interesting websites or otherwise info you come up with for later or revisitation.

As easy as One, Two, Twee! (Yeah, I know.)

If you're unsure where to start, Follow me on Twitter at @fatguygoesvegan and I'll set your course!

FatGuy

Old MacDonald had a farm.... E I E I owwww.......

And on that farm he had a cow. A dairy cow. E-I-E-I-oowwwwwwwwwww! Ow? Yes ow. That cow has an inflammed stomache and udder and other wonderful things. It's true! I read it on the internet!

Ok, so how the heck can it all possibly be true if milk is allowed to be sold in grocery stores everywhere!? Well, look.. I don't know what's true and what's not. Conspiracy theorists all over claim it's Big Brother with a controlling interest in the Milk Industry that are looking the other way. Perhaps it's the Soda Giants (Pepsi, Coke) trying to tell you milk isn't healthy. Who knows. All I know for sure is that scientifically (based on my 89% passing grade in high school advanced chemistry and 92% in biology) that the argument to NOT consume cow dairy makes sense.

For example, I don't reaaaaally know that diving over 100 ft into the water will feel like concrete. I just know that based on past personal experience that jumping off of a 6 ft diving platform and doing a belly flop is a sure indicator that over 100 ft will POSSIBLY do a lot more than just hurt.

And then there are sites like THIS that provide enough "facts" that add up in my brain to the equation "Cow Milk = Bad".

That and I've developed my lactose intolerance as I've gotten older. So for me, giving up dairy products is like giving up polluted air to breath fresh mountain air. I just gotta get up the mountain.

One of the first ways I've been able to eliminate dairy products is by going with Earth Balance spreads. Now, for the anti-soy reasons (ie. everything in moderation, and given that soy is in almost everything now), I actually went with the Soy-Free Buttery Spread that, in truth, is almost a 100% swap out for butter, and most definitely a guaranteed detection-free-swap-out from margarine.

Let's face it. Some of us are better sommeliers than others, and I'm sure the most highly attuned tasted buds will notice; for me, melted on my veggies with a little black pepper, or even dragged across a great piece of toast, I was never able to notice ... in fact, I prefer this to butter. And at over four dollars a pound in Canada for butter, this product was in the same price range at just under five dollars for approximately a 1-lb tub.

Health wise, I leave it to you to compare to your preferred brands, but in comparison, this product is less fattening, salty and preferred to my typical dairy product used prior.

But ok. Yes, I'm still stumped as to how I am going to make my next buttercream iced wedding cake. Stay Tuned!

FatGuy